New Growth

It's been a while, and I don't really have the energy to get everything caught up on here right now. But things are good, and I can feel summer warming my insides up more every day as it gets closer. Dave and I are looking for a new place to live together again, and that feels like the most right thing in the world right now. I am so unbelievably blessed to have what I have.

I am almost ready to read back through my whole blog and everything I poured into my writing last year. I am ready to remember the wisdom I gained during my time alone. I feel like coming back home was such an upheaval a year ago, and I wasn't ready to put my life back together while also incorporating all the things I learned about myself. I just wasn't strong enough I suppose. But I feel more put together now and my heart wants to move forward. I want to get back to the place where I don't need anything outside of myself to see that I am a beautiful and kind person who deserves beautiful and kind things in her life. I know it's the truth, but sometimes we know things in our minds but our hearts take longer to follow suite.

Last year was all about tearing down the old and exploring the new. This year has been, and will continue to be, about building the kind of life I want to have. It's going to take work and it won't be the most relaxing time of my life, but it's necessary and I want that for myself.

I truly know now that happiness isn't a destination that we get to after we check off all the thing on our life's "Happiness To-Do List." Choosing to live like that will always result in checking things off, but also always adding more things to the list along the way as we grow and change.

 Happiness is actually a choice. Not like a big dramatic choice that is made one afternoon while praying in a Buddhist Temple in Chiang Mai. I wish it was that easy. It's actually a choice that is made every day when you open your eyes, and every night when you go to sleep. It's making an agreement with your heart that you aren't going to listen to your mind. I am ready to start listening to my heart instead of my mind.

Wish me luck.